Tag Archives: pix

Picture This

Like most native teachers in these parts, my classroom is coated in teaching materials. The walls and windows are covered with shades that double as  huge, fully-illustrated English vocabulary flashcards. IT’S RAINING. BADMINTON. TUMMY. HAMBURGER. Useful? Only kind of. But certainly more so than the…extra-curricular shades printed with pictures of American culture. (I do hope this irritated my Canadian predecessor fiercely.)

USA! USA!

USAAAAAAAA!!!

.....usa?

Let’s just zoom in on this one for a moment, shall we?

Once you spot him, he's all you'll see.

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Englishee

About two weeks ago, the office of education contacted my fellow teachers and me re: contract renewal. Ah, to stay in Korea or not? My conclusion: if I’m to stay in this country, it will not be to teach. Nay, I will remain  only under the condition that I can design children’s English notebooks.

You see dear reader, having students who care nothing for their worldly possessions means I’m usually left with all their school supplies after a week of classes. Pencils, erasers – these things are no different then what you see back home. But the notebooks? They are things of wonder.  They are rife with this nation’s best Konglish. (Konglish = Unintended Hilarity) And since I’m weird, I’ve studied these notebooks plenty.  Over the course of my intense research, I’ve decoded the key to a successful English notebook cover. Continue reading

Apologies and the Return of Smallface

Part 1 – Repentance

So Megan & I took an unexplained and unplanned hiatus. We’we sowwy. Can you find it in your vastly superior and better-looking hearts to forgive us? The blog-apathy and disappearing act are what happens when you have a whole bunch of 6-day weekends thrown at you by your employers (Are you listening, potential EPIK applicants? 6 Day Weekends, or, Winter in Korea.) and also when the weather starts climbing up into the 60s. Also, I’ve been really depressed since I saw Eric Clapton take a sarcastic old man dump on maybe my favorite song ever onstage. Did you know it’s possible to ruin “Layla”? It is. And God is dead and we’re all alone.

Part 2 – Smallface Strikes Back

We haven’t entirely forgotten about you, faithful internet. Here, we have pictures about weirdos and their obsessions with smallface. (What do you mean you didn’t read Part 1 of Smallface?) One is from the bitchiest tv show ever, in which Korean celebrities had their faces scrutinized for who had the smallest face. One picture is from me clambering on top of people inside a bus in Seoul to get a picture of an ad. I also tossed in a few photos from my upcoming coffee table book “Megan Is Angry At Me”. It’s fucking brilliant and fun for the whole family.See if you can guess which ones are which.

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Ok, so anyway, all of this is a way to say that we’ll be back to your normally scheduled programming tomorrow. Peace out, homes.

My Lunch Speaks

hey. psst. hey.

yes you, whitey

come'er. closer.

closer

EAT ME

God help me, I did.

That’s 번데기 – beondegi –  silkworm pupa, pretty popular snack in Korea. They taste exactly like the word “pupa” sounds – repulsive. You see street vendors around here cooking these bad boys up (you will know them by the rank odor of death that accompanies them), but for obvious reasons, I passed on ever putting one in my mouth. Because, dudes, why? WHY?! Why in a land of plenty would you ever resort to eating bugs?

But then these appeared as a side dish at lunch with my coteachers, and I was riding on the high of a good day at English camp, and I decided to be a little adventurous. After all, I like pretty much all Korean food, even the stuff considered weird in the States (like this, this or all this delicious business).  But you, beondegi…you are the weirdest. You are something special. First, beondegi is usually boiled, so there is no crunch when you bite one, but there is an explosion as the chrysalis bursts and the silkworm innards assault your tongue. Second,beondegi tastes like it is actively punishing you for eating it – only a sander across the tongue will get this taste out of your mouth.(Note: it’s a rare lunch that comes with more than an accompanying tablespoon of water. You cannot drink this away.)

These are the appetizers served in hell. Repent, readers, or you too shall know the piquant flavor of the silkworm.

Silkworm: how you like me now?

Swiss Miss, Day 1: Food Orgy

So I know this pertains to nothing, really, except how damn happy I am at this very moment. Friends, all my dreams are coming true already and I’ve been in Geneva about 12 hours.

Feast your eyes (wah waaah) on the grocery haul:

From left to right: Beer, wine, eggs, croissants, bread, baguette, bread, scotch, champagne, milk (meh), cereal (meh), espresso, cheese A atop cheese B, sausage A, sausage B, Sausage C, (obscured) salted ham, (obscured) bacon filets

It’s on like Donkey Kong.

Weird Shit on Korean TV: Ass Play

You guys, do you even understand how many Google search hits I’m going to get with that title? Welcome, Fetishists!

In this week’s installation of “Weird Shit on Korean TV” I give you wonders the likes of which you would never see on prime time TV back home. I cannot fully explain what transpired; we are all the lesser for it. It was a magical time and place in the world, and all too brief. Behold:

Men in unitards – off to a good start.
okay, i’m with you so far. But the, uh, red scarf threaded between the legs? Explain.
Lift with your legs, bro. Wait….what?
WAIT WHAT

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Verschwörungstheorie! (A Pictorial)

Fascism: Accident or National Concern? You decide.