I am a notorious coward when it comes to quitting jobs. I blame the Catholic upbringing. I feel guilty about things like eating (but not drinking) and definitely about disappointing employers (but not about hating them passionately).
My last job was a gig as a secretary. That job juiced my soul right out of me, pureed it with some ice and tequila, tossed a paper umbrella in it and forced me to serve it on a golden platter to my boss, who then declared it unfit to drink, took a crap in it and threw it on my face. (GRR, VISCERAL IMAGERY!) Soulless and spiteful as I was, I had to psych myself up to actually approach my terrifying boss and drop the news that I was moving to another continent. I had two months in which to do this. The pep talk I gave myself took the entire two months. At it’s conclusion I stood outside my boss’s office door.
Erin: Hey….can I talk to you for a minute?
Angry Boss: No. Busy.
Erin: I’M MOVING TO ASIA IN TWO WEEKS.
Then I ran back to my desk and hyperventilated.
Since the 6 month mark back in February, I’ve steadily filled with resignation-related dread. At some point, I was going to have to tell both my schools I wouldn’t be returning after summer vacation. Twice! Twice I would have to say the dreaded words and listen to people try and change my mind and witness the bruised displays of emotions my principals would put on. The horror! The guuuuiiilllltttt! So it’s been on my mind. So much so that now I have already prematurely spilled the beans to two coteachers.I am a special kind of ninja douchebag.
Coteacher: Hey, I got this email about free Korean classes.
Erin: Uh. Urgh. Huurrr.
Coteacher: You will study?
Coteacher: We have special open class.
Erin: Oh yeah? When?
Coteacher: Hmm..maybe second semester?
Erin: Hurr. Err Durrr.
Coteacher: Maybe November? (waving calendar) When is best?
Erin: Durr. Hurrr. Um.
Coteacher: Which grade is best?
Erin: Oh, fourth grade for sure. But.
Coteacher: No. You must stay. <grabs my hand, pleads with eyeballs>