Jesus Christ Am I Bored

School ended right around Christmastime. Immediately upon being released from the responsibility of my job, I fled for two weeks of vacation. “Peace out, fools!” I cried as I left my fellow English speakers in the dust. Since my return, these friends and acquaintances have trickled out of the city on their own vacations, leaving little ol’ me behind. Until today, I had Erin’s Fun Time English Camp to distract me from being alone. But that’s over now. My orders are not to return to school until February 7.

It’s  January 21.

I’ve been home for two hours and I’m already losing it. Hard. I’m talking Jack-Nicholson-in-The-Shining losing it. (“Wendy…Darling…Light of my life…”)

Pictured: my entire house

Every drawer open, the wardrobe agape. I’ve been in and out of the empty refrigerator a few times looking for nothing in particular. I’ve thrown a pile of dirty clothes back and forth between my bed and my chair, and every surface is smeared with my possessions as I’ve desperately hunted for something to do.  (Cleaning the mess I’ve made is a not a viable option.)

It’s so bad that I can’t even think of anything to write about for my blog. Nary a haiku or clever little anecdote rattling around in this brain today. So much the worse for you, Reader. So let’s take a vote on what I should be doing, seated at my desk as I am now. Behold my first foray into Paint since I was 10 years old. Yowzer. Okay, here are the choices.

  • A. Write! Be productive! Do not cruise the internet!
  • B. Drink that bottle of fine scotch whisky
  • C. Find a use for that fist toy I bought at Home Plus
  • D. Drink, then write, then drink, then hit things with the fist toy

Cast your votes in the comments section! Seriously. Help a bitch out.

13 responses to “Jesus Christ Am I Bored

  1. D!! Take that fist toy out on some locals!

  2. Intrepid.Reporter.

    I hope you pounded the shit out of stuff…

  3. If by “stuff” you mean the Johnnie Walker, then you are correct, Intrepid Reporter. Pounding in progress.

  4. Maybe some good writing before the affects of the Johnnie Walker hits you….or maybe get out of your box….maybe a walkabout would do you some good:)

  5. Mom, it’s super weird to see you commenting on here. I suspect we will be having a Come to Jesus talk tomorrow.

    Also, I didn’t meant to shame you on the internet with my poor housekeeping. I did, in fact, clean because I had nothing better to do after I wrote this.

  6. Fine tune your motor skills because daaaaammmnnnn gurl, those letters look like you were tweaking out on coke while writing them.

  7. I just read your whole blog. There is some funny shit in there. A little racist, but funny. Thanks for sharing.

  8. Ha, Erin, someone just called you a racist.

  9. Seriously dudes, that racism stuff has ruined my whole weekend. White guilt! It buuuuuurns!

    AJ, at some point I hope to have an answer to your accusations. For now, I’m just deeply shamed. Being a dirty mick, the only solution I see is to drink heavily and fight someone. so that’s what I’m going to do.

  10. Aw, you shouldn’t feel bad, it’s a funny racist. Like, oh, that old show, with the old white guy, All in the Family! That’s it! I think you are great!

  11. Pingback: Moments in Cultural Assimilation 1 & 2 | The Wanderlust Diary

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