Erin’s Correspondence to America #1

Nothing more irritating than trying to do business with a bunch of dickhats in the US. A letter I wrote today, that I thought you might like, readers:

B—– Insurance Group
Correspondence Dept
P. O. Box *****
Santa Ana CA 9****

November 4, 2010

To Whom It May Concern:

I am contacting you in regards to my Renter’s Insurance policy, number Z– ********. As of August 8, 2010, I no longer reside at 6744 N. Lakewood Ave., Apt. 3, Chicago IL, and therefore I no longer require this policy. For employment reasons I have relocated to Gwangju, South Korea. Please cancel this policy.

My father, Thomas Fahrer, contacted you recently to do just that. You requested this letter. Here it is. As you can imagine, living on another continent makes it difficult to carry out these tasks on one’s own in any convenient or logical manner. Similarly, jumping through your hoops is a total blast whilst living abroad. For future reference, I give my father, Thomas Fahrer, permission to act on my behalf regarding this policy. As such, I attach here my father’s address (my forwarding address) where any documents can safely be mailed. I would hate to see anything lost. You see, I have to mail this to my father, Thomas Fahrer, who will then mail it to you, and you, of course, will then mail some sort of response back. How horrible it would be for the last link in the chain of communication to be lost! Inefficiency, thy name is B—– Insurance.

If my apartment had burned down in Chicago, I’m sure we would be the best of friends. But since you have proven to be only one more bill sucking my college loan payback funds away, we part as enemies.

Thank you for your continued efforts in money coercion.

Yours very sincerely,

Erin Fahrer

One response to “Erin’s Correspondence to America #1

  1. That is the most awesome “Suck it” letter I’ve ever read. Awesome.

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