Watching tv in another language is fun. I used to do it in America because, obviously, it is entertaining to try to guess what is going on. And usually, you don’t have to try too hard. But since I arrived in Korea, I’ve come across a few things on Korean tv that leave me absolutely baffled. I mean just straight up lost, even though I want so badly to understand what is happening. Why is that man brushing an alligator’s teeth? In his house? Is he watching soap operas with his alligator? Did the alligator just piss on the floor? Did the man just drag him through it? Does his wife really have to clean it up? What the fuck is going on? (I watched this program for like 10 minutes and still no answers).
And so after months of talking about it, I bring you a new blog installment: Weird Shit on Korean TV.
Yesterday, for instance, I’m mindlessly flipping channels, avoiding studying Hanguel when I come across a fluffy little baby chicken and a chihuahua. Cuteness always makes me pause. Here’s how it plays out.
Human in a normal looking house has Chick in shoebox and lets the rambunctious Chihuahua smell Chick. Time passes, Human lets Chick out of box and lets Chihuahua in the room again. We’re not sure, is Chihuahua going to eat Chick or love Chick? Chick moves into cuddle with Chihuahua, Chihuahua likes it and licks Chick. Bond has been made. Lots of cuteness.
More bonding with Chihuahua and Chick. More cuteness. Chick likes to clean Chihuahua and playfully peck at him. Chihuahua likes to clean Chick too. They are besties. Will they grow together to be friends, even when Chick turns to Chicken?
Out of nowhere, Human enters again and picks up Chick. Human takes Chick to a big white sheet of butcher paper (!) and lets Chick stand there. Then, all of the sudden, there are five more Chicks!! Five more Chicks just hanging out on this butcher paper that we can now see is on the floor.
Cut to Chihuahua. Chihuahua is in the other room looking for Chick. But Chick is not his box. Chick is not under the newspapers. Chick is nowhere to be found. Chihuahua is obviously heartbroken.
Now Human comes back and lets Chihuahua into the Chick room. Chihuahua runs in but stops, confused (but clearly a little excited). SO MANY CHICKS! Chihuahua sniffs each Chick, but the cartoon arrow on the screen reminds us which is his Chick. Finally, Chihuahua identifies Chick, licks Chick and picks Chick up in his mouth and bolts out of the room.
END SEGMENT – Cut to new segment about a woman with a fake leg who is collecting lumber while maneuvering with her crutch. Woman is crying. Now we see it is because she has no teeth left and there are holes in her gums. There are no cute animals in this segment. There is nothing happy in this segment.
Now, what am I supposed to do with that? The chick and chihuahua were a bit weird on their own, but Koreans, hell everyone, likes cute. Even pointless cute. But they were so much easier to understand before they were followed by this sad, sad story about the disabled lady. Why does this appear to be all one show? Why?? WHY?!?